Finally. But Not The Final.

This day, today.. 2nd July 2012.
Today finally and officially I graduated from Junior High School.


I still can believe that this is all was happening, in front of my eyes, in my life.
Now that I've been graduated, I should keep move on, to the next level of my life, my next path, my next way to future.
I'll go to Senior High School this year. Senior High School is now my next way, my next path, my next future, and my next life. Its kinda odd I've been grow up so fast right now.
OMG, I just still can believed. I'm grow up now, as I remembered, I was still just a child that day, still need my parents guidance. But, now, not. I can choose my own way, even I maybe still need my parents help. But I'm open-minded now. I'm not a child anymore, I'm a teenager, grow up teenager.

I actually happy of whats happening this day. But, something.. yeah, something bothers me very very much. I regret something, yes, something that maybe makes my parent kinda disappointed to me.
Yes, my score in the graduated paper is not as good as I expected, as my parents expected too. Thats what really bother me. I feel really regret about that. I feel sad, not because I'm not satisfied, because I know that my parents actually disappointed at me. They didnt show their disappointment, they even just laugh, like nothing was happening. Thats when I started to cry, quietly. I know, I just know they're really really disappointed, but why they didnt show it? Why? Thats why my heart was break. How rigid they are, not like me. How they can hide it from me?

I feel hopeless, I feel regrets. Sad. All I can do now is crying, screaming, and regret. All I do is just lay down on my bed, thinking all of this.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I cant make you proud, but I realize this is not the end, not yet. There's still something I can give to my parents, then they will shout to everyone how amazing I am, how amazing I am who can make them proud. I know I will make them proud, someday, but not today. Maybe thats why they didnt show their disappointment, they believe in me that someday I'll make them proud, make them cry in happiness.
I promised, someday I'll make you happy of what I have done. Now, I'll take care everything about my next school, I wont drag and trouble my parents with all of my next school project. I'll make myself independent.