Hopeless Life

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Morning Sun.

Nothing is best than morning sun and blue orange yellow sky.
Me sit in the balcony in my house starring at the sunrise and feel the magic warm of sky.
Drink some instant white coffee and eat sweet BengBeng Maxx.
Hearing the beautiful birds singing, watching the grown rice crops, and lose my mind and release my imagination for a little time.
Also thinking about all our happiness we created together until now.

I'm not sleep tonight. I can't, actually.
All I do is turn the TV and watch in hopeless scary acts.
I realize I cant just sitting here in my bed and do nothing at all.
But, then I thinking what can I do here?
All I can do now is just watching TV and stay in my room as long as I can until the sun comes.
What am I thinking until I cant sleep the whole night anyway?
Oh yeah, I'm thinking about your warm sweet tan body, hug me so tight, cuddle so fine, sleep next to me.
But, thats just my imagination, I just thinking too high

I cant do anything in the lone dark night.
I'm too scared when I'm alone without you.
And afraid of alone is filling my body and soul.

R.

You.

You fit me better than my favourite sweater

I still remember that day we met in November

I will love you till the end of time

Promise you'll remember that you're mine

Baby, can you see through the tears?

No matter what you did I'd be by your side

I say you're the bestest

Lean it for a big kiss

Its you, its all for you

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know that you will

Your pretty face and electric soul

All that grace, all that body

All that face makes me wanna party

He is my sun

He makes me shine like a diamonds

Tell me that you're mine

Can you make it feel like home if I tell you, you're mine?

Dont make me sad, dont make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets rough

Keep making me laugh

Try to have fun in the meantime

R.

Adam Lambert..

Hello everyone! How's your day today? I'm good, and always busy in this time.
Okay, now I wanna to talk about something make me so happy, curious, and inpatient.

So, recently I was checking on my Twitter if there is any news going on my timeline. As I scroll down and see everything, I caught something so amazing and so desperately I've waited for! And the good news is... ADAM LAMBERT IS GOING TO BALI, INDONESIA!!
WOHOOO!! Oh my god, I can't stop thinking about it. Like I wanna see him. He is my idol, I love his songs, everything about him very much. His song so inspirational!

Okay, I'll show you the poster of his concert in Bali, Indonesia.
And this is his poster, how cool is it?

And I've heard the news, that the ticket of this concert is so damn pricey!
So, the list of the price is :
- SILVER : $538
- GOLD : $638
- PLATINUM : $738

The better price you choose, the better seat you have. You'll seat next to the stage if you choose the best price they have.

He will be in Bali at 31 December 2012. Near the New Year Eve, yeah? Anyway, usually in the New Years Eve, I have a lot of things to do, like play and celebrate with my friends and family. But I dont think its very important, because we still can celebrate it next more year, right? What about Adam Lambert's concert? Maybe he just come here once!

Well, I'm kinda confuse about the price. In my country, that kind of price is so really much. I mean, even the silver is like 5 million and fifty hundred rupiah. Well, I mean, I'm only a student! I dont have that much money to just see him sing. But, in my heart, I really wanna see him with my own eyes, because he is my idol.
Oh well, maybe if there is a miracle, like his title song, I'll go to Bali straight ahead and see him with my own eyes. I HOPE I CAN!

Bonjour!

Bonjour tout le monde! Ca va? Moi ca va :)


I'm so happy now. My class is so superb! So not very long ago, I must choose 3 language to complete my experience in tourism. Its different than other class. Other class just can learn less than my class.
So, the 3 language I talking about is Japanese, French, and Germany. So I choose French than other language because I think French is more cool than other language that available there. And I think the voice when we say it is more sexy.

And why I rather choose French than other language because one day I wanna go to French. I wanna know the world, I wanna know what is in there. I wanna study more. I will go to university in there. I hope I can.

When the first day I must choose that 3 language, I wanna choose Japanese. But then I realize I cant learn the Kanji and the others. Actually I'm kinda confuse that day. Because my idols was there, like Gackt, Versailles, L'Arc-en-Ciel, The Gazette, Vamps, and the others.

Then I was thinking. I've already know a little about Japanese things. Why I must know it more? Why I dont want to try the others language? That time, then I decided to choose French. but then my confusion is came back about what I must choose between Japanese and French. Actually I really wanna go to Japan too, but I wanna try something new too. Okay, finally I decided to choose French than Japanese. Well, you can still learn new language when you have will to do it, right? I'll learn Japanese after I learn French.

Someday I will see Eiffel Tower by my own eyes, by myself. I will and I must.
Merci tout le monde!

Last Song

Walked around aimlessly, wandering
My faint breath, just showing white in the air
The meaninglessness of the seasons going by
Brought on the tears, for no reason
"I still love you..."


The sadness that continues to fall
Changes to pure white snow
I kept looking to the sky
If now my wish reaches you, 
Before my body vanishes
Hold me tightly once more.


We hurt each other so many times
Unable to understand one another
Even then you were always kind, 
Engraved in the ring you sprung upon me, 
Our promise remains unfulfilled
"Even now, I remember... "


My memories getting farther away from me, 
Always so bright, I wanted to stay with you longer.
We can never see each other again but, 
You always were there for me, 
I pray you never change... 


I can't rid myself of the final tears you showed me


Even if I disappear with this white snow
I want to bloom in your heart forever


Never forget the warmth, 
Of when we were nestled close, holding one another
Even when you're loving someone else
I'll never let go of your voice as I heard it the last time.
I want to fall into a deep sleep.


The sadness that continues to fall
Changes to pure white snow
I kept looking to the sky
If now my wish reaches you, 
Before my body vanishes
Hold me tight once more.


'Hold me tight once more...' 

You, My Dear Past..

To : My Dearest "E"

Do you still remember me?

When we first met in another world?

Do you still remember my name when you always call me?

I still remember you.

Even until now.

I remember when we first met.

You always call me Miu

I always call you Silvance.

We always together that time, we laugh and happy together.

We've hunt together, help each other.

You introduce me with your friends.

I smiled. I laugh.

To make you happy, to make you comfortable at my side.

You're so friendly and kind.
Too much.

I was so happy that I know you.

You always accompany me wherever and whenever you are.

Your friends are awesome too.

But I realize, it was just about 5 years ago.

I'm just a little child that didnt know anything

I still have a great ego and foolish that time

And you're too good for me.

We're not in same age.
We're not in same place.

I introduce myself named Eva Brawn

And you introduce yourself named "E".

What a beautiful name.

What I made is not my real name.

I wear a jester mask.

You wear your most honestly mask.

I was securing my true identity.

I dont want to be known as a child.

Then I decided to act like a grown up girl.

To be fit to your side.

But you, you tell me everything.

That makes me so sad.

I'm desperately in love with you.

And I think you too, that time.

But I decided not to have a relationship.

I dont want to hurt someone.
But, I realize I've already do.

I'm the mysterious girl.

You're the honest boy.

I'm so sad inside my heart.

I've been so lied to you from the beginning.

I'm a great liar.

I always do.

After all we've been through.

At last, you know the truth.
You gonna see things you might now wanna see.
Still not easy for me.

You discover something you dont know.

Something so mysterious about me you must know
You look beyond the lies, that you've already known.

I know all of this gonna happen, soon.

I just dont ready, and I dont act anything.

You know the real me.

My real identity.

Not all, but enough to make you disappointed so badly

You're so disappointed.

And I'm too scared.

To look and face you.

So I ran away, I sealed myself under the dark.
 Far away from you.
Loud voice of scream.
Tears in my eyes.
Look at me, now do you see?
Welcome to my world of lies.
Actually I dont wanna hide any part of me from you.

I finally face my most fearsome day.

I cried, I scared, I screaming.

I'm regret about one thing.

Why didnt I just leave you when we're not desperately in love?

I make my biggest mistakes.

I make my own sins.
I'm standing here with much of apologies.
But yet, such a beautiful release you inside of me.

You're too good for me.

And you've been ruined by me.

5 years ago memories cant leave my life.

I deserved this sins in me.

Though I regret it.

But I feel something that is so beautiful.

Feeling that pure love.

I'm happy I can feel that love, even in the end I feel suffer.

I have the most wonderful yet horrible memories.

And I deserved it, its my fault.

I  will stop creating some mask to cover my own self.

I want to be honest like you.

We're all exist, but our another world isnt.

Thank you for everything that you gave to me.

Thank you, you make me learn so much.

Honest and Love.

Can I ask you something?

Where do you go?

Did you finally has someone in your heart now?

If its true. She so lucky to have you.

You're the most gentle man I've ever met.

I hope I have a second chance.

To be honest to you and tell you everything about me.

My true form that I always hide it from you.

At least let me met you.

I'll ask for your forgiveness.

I'm so sorry for what I've been done to you.

And I thank you for everything that has been happening between you and me.

It was a wonderful days with you!

You're now disappear without a track.

I realize I cant hope much to met you.
Please, never mind was on the left.

O, someone who made this picture to me when my birth day comes.

I bit you goodbye.

I hope you are well with your new life without me.

Live happily.

I'm so sorry and thank you.

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All of my memories lies in this picture. This is the last thing that can remind me of you.
I always remember, you really love the Forget-Me-Not Flowers and Sunflowers, and you love to edit picture like what you did to the Dream of Dolls and others.
Your detective skill is un-match-able. I hope you're graduated from your Law College and be what you wanna be.
I still listening the RAN musics like you always said and like, it was really a good music. You really have a good taste of music, do you? And do you still hate Michael Jackson? Please dont :")
I still remember your unique language. Your optimistic. Your bishounen face. And your name. It lies within me.

I still remember the game we've been played. Ragnarok Online.